Copyright: 1992

Publisher: Pinon Press

ISBN: 0891096957

The Love & Logic method of parenting can take a lot of the stress out of parenting.  Foster Cline and Jim Fay apply their principles of parenting to the ever scary teen years in Parenting Teens with Love & Logic.  The basic premise of Love & Logic is that children should be raised to be responsible yet most parents take actions that keep this from happening.  By ensuring that kids feel loved and by applying logical thought to situations, Cline and Fay believe kids can learn from their own mistakes, become responsible and not drive their parents crazy in the meantime.  In this book, the authors dole out an incredible amount of practical advice and wisdom that can help any parent who has teens.

Notes

I thoroughly enjoyed the book and took many great tidbits and concepts away from my reading.  First and foremost was the idea of giving children choices rather than trying to force them to do things.  I have always held to the philosophy that "I can't make you do something... but I can make you wish you would have."  I doubt Cline and Fay would quite agree with that way of putting it but essentially that's what they advocate throughout their book.

• Responsible teens feel good about themselves
• Responsibility is caught not taught
• Teens need to own up to problems and solutions
• Parents can gain control through choices
• Parents should set limits through thinking words
• Empathy + Consequences = Success
• Parents need to build a relationship to last a lifetime

Caveats

I wil confess that I was disappointed with this book on some levels.  While there is so much good and practical advice in the book, it felt like there was a huge disconnect from reality.  Undoubtedly some of this is because I read the 1992 edition of the book which has some rather dated references to pop culture.  There is a 2006 edition that is available if you want an updated and expanded version.

The other disconnect for me was that while I know that the authors are authoritative, it was discomforting that nearly the entire book is anecdotal in nature.  There are few (if any?) references to studies or research in the book.  Perhaps this is to make the book more palatable to a wider audience but it seemed odd. 

Finally many of the anecdotes in the book speak to situations that many parents will never face.  Anecdotes about kids being arrested and locked in jail or smoking in the house are situations that are undoubtedly faced by a lot of parents but I would venture that the majority of parents don't ever face them.  This leaves a dearth of applications for many of the great principles that are found in the book. 

Conclusion

I would encourage anyone who has children or teens to read some of the Love & Logic books.  Much of it might seem like fluff but the principles and concepts in the book are valid and useful.  If nothing else, parenting is hard so we should get every bit of help we can get so reading yet another parenting book can't hurt.